I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
