Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
