I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
