he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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