I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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