Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
