I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
