there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
