That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
