i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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