Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
this hospital has no fireball
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
