Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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