covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
