He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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