Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Four minutes until I can fart!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize