U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
