Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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