the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
