I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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