something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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