There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
