We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
