i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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