so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
