I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
