my mouth tastes like poor choices
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
