Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
