Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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