Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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