I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize