I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
