Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
its not stalking. its research.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
