READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
