before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
