try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My feet surprised me
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