So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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