i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
