Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
