whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
