on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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