I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
