trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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