I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
