...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
