im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
