We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
