Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
