Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
