you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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