there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
