I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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