I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
