So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
