Where is the hickey?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize