what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
