So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
