either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize