the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
As shirtless as possible
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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