New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
