foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
