I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Come see our sink grown plant.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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