S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
